be counted

David Cameron must be wondering how it all went so wrong.  A better example of wrong place, wrong time couldn’t be found, as his lack-lustre success in the run up to the election replaces what should have been a meteoric rise to stardom!  In a year when our economy went into melt-down, the expenses scandal revitalised the red-top reading voter out of their usual apathy towards politics, the Afghanistan war was a subject on everyone’s lips and the Iceland saga had everyone stranded, Cam/Sam should have been planning the new curtains in number 10 by now but he just can’t seem to capitalise on the misfortunes of the previous years.

But why is that?  We want a change don’t we? That’s ALWAYS been the case at this stage in any party’s government and it’s always worked before for the opposition.  Cameron should win for no other reason than he’s not Brown!  But for some reason he hadn’t quite worked out things are already changing and not in the way the Tories expected!  Disillusionment is fuelling more than a switch from left to right…the usually unquestioning majority are now questioning the two party system in an awakening that runs a bit like this:  Tories = change but Tories don’t = change for the better.  In fact, Tories = not better and not even that much different.  So what’s plan B?

Is it a vote for the classic British underdog that we all love to love?  Certainly, Clegg has seen media hyped celebrity the like of which we haven’t seen since Diana died and those of us unaffected by this hype shake our heads and wonder where Clegg’s carpet of flowers is, metaphorically speaking?  As a nation, we quite like Nick.  And a hung parliament wouldn’t be that bad, would it?  Even if it would mean a hung parliament in Britain for ever more, once proportional representation was brought in.  Poor Cameron.  A hung parliament might just mean that he could never form a majority government again.  How that must hurt.

But wait!  Suddenly the possible outcomes are multiplying exponentially.  Cameron and Clegg are courting each other in search of mutual interest and a blue/yellow deal is being whispered of in the corridors of power!  There may just be some common ground between them.  Big Society blue is not a million miles from yellow’s localism, both declare green agendas and both criticise red’s central, state led government.  But really – Euro-sceptic shackled to Euro-enthusiast?  Defendants of Trident arm-in-arm with abolitionists?  How bizarre.  But, like it or not, Cameron’s personal dislike of Brown and our crazy electoral system is driving Clegg towards Cameron.

And the likely outcome?  My guess is that Clegg and Cameron form a coalition.  Cameron fails to deliver on the electoral reform he promised Clegg and blames either Clegg and/or Vince Cable for pulling the plug.  A second election is called, by which time Brown is semi-retired in the Lake District somewhere and the voting public has decided it’s fed up with the change agenda and wishes it’d stuck with Labour after all.  David Milliband is the new PM and we all breath a sigh of relief that the world hasn’t gone crazy after all.